Your world can change in a moment when you lose someone
On a Tuesday afternoon in September of 2013, my brother-in-law closed his eyes to rest in Jesus. I had considered him a spiritual mentor. He had given me great advice about dating, and growing spiritually, for almost 27 years of my life.
The hardest part about losing him was knowing that it would leave my sister without her best friend, her husband, and her boyfriend who cared deeply for her and treated her like a queen. There were many things I admired about my brother-in-law and the one thing that superceded them all was his walk with God. Because of his example, it gave me the strength to walk with God through my experience of losing him. For example; I graciously accepted prayers from family, friends and supporters who cared about me.
Just as Meister Eckhart said, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” And so I am. Thankful that I had him in my life because he painted a good picture of a godly man, a loving husband and a caring brother-in-law.
What do those ‘in the know’ say about dealing with grief?
According to an article on CBN.com entitled Dealing with Grief,
“Grief,” then, is the B-side side of love. Love expresses emotional oneness, grief expresses emotional separation. “Mourning” is the long, painful process of working through that grief. (In other words, grief is what we feel, mourning is how we react to it.) It’s natural to feel up one day and down the next. The strong feelings of grief may seem frightening when we first feel the full force of this powerful emotion.
Also, according to this same article, there are three (3) basic steps that one goes through when grieving are:
- Stage One: Shock, numbness, disbelief (one to three days)
- Stage Two: Painful longing and preoccupation with memory and mental images (up to one year)
- Stage Three: Resolution and resumption of ordinary life activities (within one year of death)
My personal process of grief
Knowing that my brother-in-law died because of cancer, brought on by exposure to Agent Orange, I really had a hard time not getting angry. I found out in the Summer of 2013 that he had been given a short time to live. He was a really good man and I couldn’t understand at the time – why him? Yes I questioned God because he has such a heart for ministering to people and he touched so many lives. Part of my grieving process is coming to terms with his passing and being able to let go.
After reading this article, I feel that I’m in the right place as I allow myself to experience the full process of grieving. Currently, I’m in Stage Two of the process and heading towards Stage Three where I will be dealing with the whys in life. It hasn’t been easy and I try not to allow myself to get “too busy” so that I don’t process my grief fully. I still cry occasionally when I’m alone as I think about him. Yet I know that he is in a better place, he’s out of pain and he’s not suffering anymore.
Although I’m in a good place now, I know that I have a ways to go before I can say that my grieving process is complete. Just knowing that I’m surrounded by supportive friends has given me relief and space to grieve. I won’t start naming them because I will forget someone. I just know that I will. For now, just know that if you were one of the many who prayed for me, said a kind word to me or was just there for me, I’m sending a very big Thank You to you right now. Also know, that when you are in a space of grief we are here for you to lift you up and support you too. That’s what the Day of Love is all about.
- Dealing with Grief
- Coping With Death and Grief
- Blessed Are Those Who Mourn: A Christian Understanding Of Grief
About Kim Beasley
Kim is a Social Media Strategist who loves developing WordPress websites. One of the projects that Kim focuses on is KimLive.TV where she produces Google+ Hangouts and host Google Hangouts on Air shows. She will be producing the DOL LOVE live streaming events where we’ll meet and greet the public and find out what your greatest questions are about Healing & Restoration. Being passionate about helping business owners to grow their visibility, Kim loves to connect people and technology. After spending almost 20 years in Corporate America as a Technical Project Manager, Kim decided that she wanted to focus more on entrepreneurs and use her MBA in eBusiness to help them grow their online presence. She created KimLive.TV to assist entrepreneurs to develop their own Google+ Hangout show as their producer. Kim has also been apart of Hangouts on Air with news organization such as: NPR, HuffPost Live, FOX, BBC, Business2Community.com and NBC.
Latest posts by Kim Beasley (see all)
- The Big Leap: Changed Attitude & Overcoming Limits - December 11, 2013
- Building a Solid Supportive Team of Inner Circle People - October 31, 2013
- Your world can change in a moment when you lose someone - September 29, 2013