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What Do I Do Now That They’re Gone? (When Someone You Love Dies)

Screen Shot 2014-08-26 at 9.25.09 AMWhen a loved one dies, the first question people often ask themselves is, “What do I do now that they’re gone?”

Last week, my husband and I had invited friends over for a great BBQ dinner, before the fall season begins in our beautiful state of South Carolina, and the night was perfect.  While the men enjoyed eating their grilled pork ribs, and talking about sports, the women commented on the finely cooked chicken and veggies and how nice it is to have someone else cook for them.

We were laughing and having a good time when I noticed my cell phone kept lighting up on a table in the living room. I ignored it several times, not wanting to be rude, but wondered who was trying to reach me?

Little did I know…

While I was laughing and having a great time with our guests, my brother was over a thousand miles away painfully trying to determine if keeping Mom on life support was best thing to do for her.  I didn’t know it, but Mom was taken to the hospital by her sisters for what they thought was pneumonia.  She wound up having a massive heart attack while there.  The light on my iphone was an SOS indicator telling me that I needed to be in Vermont NOW.  Mom was being connected to a life support system and wasn’t going to make it through the night.

I immediately set to work finding plane tickets but realized it didn’t matter how quickly I was able to get there, mom wasn’t going to survive.  Six weeks ago I spent time with her and could tell she wasn’t healthy.  She had aged very quickly, lost her youthful appearance and her breathing wasn’t right. Although I was the only one who might have seen it, IMG_3827I knew her body wouldn’t be able to survive a massive heart attack.

I shared my feelings with my older brother, that I was all for taking her off life support, and that we needed to let God handle it from there.   After agonizing for several hours, my siblings made the decision to remove her and she died within a few minutes.

I know Mom went to a much better place than what she knew here.  I also know I loved her dearly and will miss her greatly.

Just a quick note about the picture to the right. When I asked her if we could take this picture I called it a ‘selfie’ and she repeated, “You want to take a fluffy? What’s that?”  Just one cute memory of the last time I saw her.

Sad endings also bring new beginnings

Death is a sad ending for all of us, but the real question is, how do the living go on after someone close to them dies?  This question has been answered by hundreds of books on grief, lots of seminars and programs, but what I’m about to do is share with you is what God says to my spirit about it. Be prepared. I don’t know what will come out on this post, but I know it is ALWAYS out of the ordinary.

Here we go…

Death is a new beginning. You do not know the hour or the day your breath will leave you, but be prepared for that day. Find it inside of your heart to forgive those you’ve held at arms length. Bring your requests to me and live. Let go of the harbored anxieties you have over losing someone you love. I love too, far more than you’ll comprehend. Destiny is abounding with great hope and great joy but you need to BELIEVE it.

How do you go on? Join me. Join me in the ups and downs of life. Join me in celebrating LIFE. History repeats itself only when lessons have not been learned. Disallow history to repeat itself.

Gather your money and bring it to the storehouse. Give to those who need, invest in yourself all the energy you need to make my path straight to your heart. Build a palace of gold and silver. Journey with me for all the aptitudes of life. I am your gift, your glory, your tower of strength. No harm will come to you through faith. You disbelieve because I’ve not saved your loved one, yet your loved one saved themselves for me.

Heart in handsDo not pray that their spirit will come to visit you. Do not pray they will come back to life. This is a mistake. Only pray that you will be healed through their death. Restored through their life. Use it as an example of what to do or not to do. Learn from it in every way. Move into a path of unbridled faith, hope and love. In order to do this you must understand my love for you. The treasures I have for you. The gift that awaits you.

Move forward quickly. Do not delay. If you need to know me then come to me. Show your face toward me and I will delight in you. Keep me away from you and you will see many more dark times. That is not what I want for you. Breathe in my freshness and light your path with my hope. Long for me to renew your steps and I will.

You must remember that I am not like you, but still a part of you. Nothing can carry you away like the renewing of your mind, body and spirit. Take a chance. Don’t dally. Bring to me all you long for, but let it not be the one you lost. For if you stay in that pit of darkness it will only bring you down. Release my Glory into your life by LIVING. Give me your all and I will bring you peace.

So there you have it. Today’s message.

If you want to know more about how to hear God for yourself, then get in touch with me. I have been given a gift to help you open your mind and heart to more love than you’ve ever experienced in your life.  Contact me here.

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Founder at Connecting LLC
After persevering through a traumatic brain injury and death of family members in 2007, Kellie Frazier was blessed with a miracle. As she pressed into God's vision for her life, she went on to publish several books while helping others publish their books. She finds great fulfillment in living a loving CHRIST-ian lifestyle. A devoted wife and mother for more than 34 years, she loves God, and others as she loves herself.

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