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Your Marriage Will Fail If You Don’t Do This

Nothing stings like failure in marriage, wouldn’t you agree? It’s the worst feeling in the world to fall short of your dreams. Especially when those dreams involve relationships.

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I don’t like telling people they’ll fail, but at the same time, I care too much to lie to you. If you want your marriage to succeed, you’re going to need one thing that most people neglect. Without it, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment.

So what is it?

A lot of spiritual people say its, God, or humor, or commitment, that keeps their marriage together, but I’m here to tell you that’s just not true. It takes more than that to succeed and the Bible talks a lot about it.  Its called a marriage STRATEGY.

“Poor is he who works with a negligent hand, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. – Proverbs 10:4 NIV,

If you are negligent in your marriage, the results will also be evident.

What will a strategy do for you? It will keep you UNITED.  It’s one thing that makes everything easier if you have it. And it makes every marriage harder if you don’t.

My husband and I found this out the hard way before we turned everything around. Planning, preparing, working together in unity to have a great marriage gives us reason to bounce out of bed every day!

Listen to what one of my students learned when she decided to build her own marriage strategy.

Here’s her story.

Ashley Ryan  (Photo by Wright-Moore Photography)

Ryan and I have always had a strong desire to communicate really well in our relationship. We’re not perfect, but we work very hard to maintain emotional connections that help us unify on what’s important to us. Since we have a genuine desire to see the good, we both work hard, we’re creative thinkers with big hearts, and most importantly, we love and accept each other for who we are.

When our children were born we realized we had to develop a new strategy. We had to learn how to parent together, which isn’t easy on any marriage, but it brought a new perspective.  We adjusted our roles in terms of who does what and when, (strategy), since our time was now divided.

Ryan works full time and I work part time. I take the girls to child care, maintain the household chores and he makes dinner. After dinner, I get the girls ready for bed while he cleans up. We both say good night with a bedtime story and snuggles, then we make time for us to connect.  This strategy works well for now, and has brought more joy and peace to our home.

The one thing that has been glaring for both of us is that we are constantly learning together.  We’re not perfect, our lives are not materialistically glamorous, but are hearts are full.  It takes work to create a home full of love.

What successful couples know that you don’t

Ashley & Ryan used a strategy implemented by some of the happiest couples in the world. In fact, it’s a strategy I’ve used since the beginning of my career and its called:  Emotional Connections

Through emotionally connecting, they’ve become unified, creating bonds you can see with the naked eye.  I’ve personally witnessed how they’ve created a much happier environment for their family by working together. It was the way they implemented that was crucial to their success.

Passion alone doesn’t lead to success in marriage, or there wouldn’t be so many divorces. You need to be strategic. Ashley & Ryan didn’t just hope to succeed. They set a goal, found a winning strategy, then created a plan to get there. If you want to succeed as a couple, you’re going to have to do the same.

Here’s the formula:

“Emotional Connections + Strategy = Marriage Success”  Tweet this!

Joy and success won’t just happen to you. You’re going to have to learn from those who’ve gone before you and tasted success. Understand their methods of a happy marriage and use their strategies.

Trying to do it on your own is just foolish. I had to learn from the best, mimic what they did, and figure out my own way, but you don’t have to. You won’t succeed in marriage (or in life) without a strategy. It’s just that simple.

I’m passionate about sharing what I’ve learned because of struggling for years to get it right.  I decided to apply the process and made some big changes in my  marriage. I ended up getting incredible results, results that surprised even us. Ashley and Ryan did the same.

The Next Step

Thankfully, success is not based on personality. It’s based on principles. And these are Godly principles that anyone can apply — whether you’re single, divorced, married, or engaged. All you have to do is what Ashely and Ryan did:

  1. Find a process that’s worked – Ashley wanted to learn what she didn’t know and invested in her own growth.
  2. Work the process – She and Ryan created a list of ways they could unify on parenting and just started implementing.
  3. Keep trying until you succeed – They kept at it until they felt a “yes, this works”.

Sometimes, when you’ve told yourself “its not going to work” for so long, you think that’s all there is.  Honestly, you might be surprised by how quickly success can come if you truly work at it. But you’ll need a strategy — one you can trust, that others before you have used successfully — and you’ll need to persevere until you succeed.

As Ashley and Ryan can tell you, if you do the work, you’ll see the results. I believe that with all my heart.

If you’re feeling stuck, chances are you need a strategy for your relationship.  I’d love to help you with that. If you want to stop feeling frustrated, then it’s time to figure out what you don’t know. Which is why I want to invite you to a free event on Wednesday.

On this live stream, I’ll answer your questions about marriage and share exactly how you can do what Ryan and Ashley did to create more unity in their family. Don’t miss it!

Join me for a live event plus Q&A time: 5 Secrets To Unity In Marriage.

What’s one question you have about emotionally connecting that I can answer on the upcoming live stream? Share in the comments.



Founder at Connecting LLC
After persevering through a traumatic brain injury and death of family members in 2007, Kellie Frazier was blessed with a miracle. As she pressed into God's vision for her life, she went on to publish several books while helping others publish their books. She finds great fulfillment in living a loving CHRIST-ian lifestyle. A devoted wife and mother for more than 34 years, she loves God, and others as she loves herself.

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