If the Scar-Faced Girl Can Wear a Bathing Suit, So Can You!
I was stumped…
Kel (more commonly known as Kellie Frazier) said, “Kel (meaning me, Kelly Falardeau), did you write your blog post for the week?” (As business partners we try to take turns writing posts for the Day of Love website)
I said “Nope, will do it tonight.”
But tonight I was a little stumped and not sure what to write about.
So, I asked my Facebook tribe. “Time to write a blog post, what should I write about?”
I got some cool responses, but then one of my friends said, “Hey Kelly – what do you think about writing about wearing a bathing suit in this hot summer weather. I know you’re a burn survivor and I’m not sure if you have scars just on your face or on the rest of your body, so do you wear a bathing suit in public?”
I said “Aha! That’s it! I love it! I’ll write about wearing a bathing suit and showing my scars in public.”
She said, “You mean you really love the idea and I haven’t offended you?”
I said, “Yes I love it and nope you haven’t offended me, it’s perfect.”
Because you see, I believe that everyone deserves to wear whatever they want in public, no matter what others think. (within reason of course)
We are so concerned about what others think of us that we let those thoughts stop us from what we want to do because we’re too scared of being judged by other people.
Funny thing is, they aren’t thinking of us at all!!!
They’re thinking of themselves and what you’re going to think of them!!! They don’t care what you’re thinking!
Now in my case, yes I believe they’re judging me and wondering what I have or what happened to me or am I contagious or how could I show myself in public looking the way I do…
Here’s the bottom line….
You ready for it?
- I just don’t care what others think of me wearing a bathing suit. (I deserve to go swimming just like everyone else)
- I don’t care if they think I’m ugly (their opinion doesn’t count in my world – my friends and family think I’m gorgeous even with the ugly scars on my body)
- I don’t care if they think I’m not pretty enough (I’m beautiful in my own eyes and that’s all that matters to me)
- I don’t care if they see my scars (they’re just scars – so what!)
- I don’t care if they think I’m contagious (scars can’t jump from one body to the next)
- I don’t care if they get out of the hot tub because they can’t stand sitting next to me (I actually think it’s funny)
- I don’t care what their thoughts are (it’s really none of my business and why would I consume my head with junk that doesn’t matter to me?)
- Everyone has something on their body they don’t want others to see.
Does it really matter what others think?
Seriously – please answer that for me…. Does it really matter what they think? You will probably NEVER see them again.
Why would you let someone’s thoughts (that you only think they’re thinking) stop you from doing what you want to do?
Maybe, just maybe, they’re curious and not even thinking the negative thoughts we automatically imply people are thinking…
Let’s analyze this a little bit more…
Here’s the situation:
Kelly a burn survivor with scars covering 75% of her body is wearing a bathing suit, much like this one…
In fact, that is me wearing my latest bathing suit and I happen to think it looks pretty good on me.
A stranger sees me wearing the bathing suit and stares at me and I notice it (most times I don’t notice it because I’ve learned to tune out people’s stares).
Now, what should I think?
1. OMG – someone is staring at me again!!!!
2. Oh no! They think I’m ugly!!
3. Geez!!! I wish they would quit staring at me, they’re making me mad
4. GRRRRRR – I give them a nasty dirty look with the evil eye and the turned up lip, hoping that will scare them away from me and make them stop staring
5. I shouldn’t be here – ugly girls like me shouldn’t wear bathing suits
6. last thought – I really wish people would stop staring at me – they’re making me feel ugly
OR, are they really thinking that at all?
Maybe yes, maybe no.
Maybe they’re thinking…
- Hmmm, I wonder what happened to that beautiful woman?
- I’m so impressed that she is courageous enough to wear a bathing suit even with her scars.
- OMG – I think she’s amazing!!! Look at her wearing a bathing suit – I have flabby arms, I could never do that!
- WOW! I just wish I could be like her!!! She’s stunning!
- I wonder where she got that bathing suit, I need one like it.
- What an awesome burn survivor- she shows me that if she can do it, so can I!
- Did she get burnt? If so, I can hardly tell – she’s so beautiful even with the scars.
While it’s only natural for us to want to think the negative thoughts, there are also just as many positive thoughts a person could be thinking.
I choose to think the positive thoughts no matter what because most of the time, I’ll never know the stranger’s thoughts.
I’m not going to lie to you – yes there are times that I get bothered when people stare at me when I’m wearing a bathing suit. And yes, I really don’t enjoy looking like a drowned rat when I get wet, which is why I now wear pony tails in the pool – even with my bald spot showing in the back. But, the bottom line is – I will wear a bathing suit in public because I want to and I don’t want to miss out on doing something fun with my kids just because other people might be thinking I shouldn’t be wearing a bathing suit in public because I have scars.
So, seriously, are you really going to stop yourself from wearing a bathing suit because of other people’s thoughts? Just go have fun and quit worrying about what others “might” be thinking of you. Life is way too short to be worried about what other people are thinking about you. They might stare at you for 5 seconds, but that’s it – they’re already off thinking about the next person.
PS. Here are
6 Tips to Wearing a Bathing Suit even with an Imperfect Body:
1. Stop thinking about what you think people are thinking
2. Tune out to people staring at you
3. Ignore those negative thoughts your ego is telling you
4. Remember – they’re too worried about themselves to be thinking about you
5. You deserve to go out in public wearing a bathing suit
6. Just do it – you’re beautiful no matter what anyone else thinks
P.S.S. If you struggle with wearing a bathing suit in public AT ALL you must get involved with us at Day of Love! We teach women how to love their inner and outer beauty so share this post!
P.S.S.S. Let us know what you think of this post by commenting below. Would love to know your thoughts!