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How To Trade Intolerance For Kindness

Have you ever found yourself getting to a place in your life in which things get monotonous, and the things that you used to tolerate about your spouse have mad boybecome annoying and get on your last nerve?  You love your spouse, but you don’t feel like you are getting the same love back? Resentment and jealousy has set into your heart and now complaining is a daily habit?

Often times we find ourselves complaining about the way that our spouses handle certain situations like parenting our children, keeping the house clean, keeping up with the bills, you name it. It feels like our spouses don’t meet our expectations, and we don’t know how to get out of that rut. I’m writing this article to share how The Lord traded intolerance for kindness in my life.

I remember that before my marriage took a turn for the worse I would wake up every morning with a murmuring heart, instead of a grateful heart. As I went about my day my first thoughts were:  “Ugh!, he left his clothes on the bathroom floor again“, or “when is he going to consider how hard I work around here and help?“.  There were days that I caught myself having these destructive thoughts and apologized to God right away.

Even though I recognized this bad attitude and repented, the weight of everything that bothered me would get me back to the same spot, and soon enough I found myself holding anger in my soul towards my husband for the long list of things that he was not doing for ME. I would get frustrated and would not communicate with him, the ways of communication between us started to erode with time. I started doing all the house work, rearing of our children, grocery shopping, and other household chores as if I was punishing him so that he would pity me, and at the end it all only hurt me.

As all strife does it opened a door to the enemy to come in and destroy my marriage.  At the first opportunity available the enemy showed my husband a “mirage” where he could look for “happiness” outside of our relationship. It was then that I found myself regretting that I had lost sight of the good things in my marriage, and I realized what I would do different if I had my marriage back.

The Lord started training me to become a more kind wife for the day that my husband would return home. I started to appreciate the small things. I wasn’t a bad wife, but I had looked inwardly for too long. I had felt neglected, and had retaliated by feeling sorry for myself and withdrawing from my relationship with my husband.

When the Lord drew me close to Him during my time of separation from my husband all my fears dissipated. Through the reading of God’s Word, continual prayer, worship, and the teachings that I received from God’s inspired people, all the bitterness, jealousy, contention, and the dissatisfaction that had lived with in my heart disappeared. I was completely delivered by God. My husband started seeing a difference in me. No matter what he would throw my way my reaction was a kind and compassionate one. It broke my heart to see him stressed, and without purpose in life. Neglected by the other woman, and with the guilt of the consequences of his actions. Instead of provoking anger, and resentment in me the Lord changed all those feelings into love and compassionate caring kindness that led my husband to tears while praying together for healing from his high blood pressure, and his heart’s irregular palpitations just a few days before The Lord brought him back home. I choose to wear a garment of kindness and love everyday, not giving opportunity for intolerance and bitterness. A marriage don’t have to be broken for a couple to recognize that speaking kindly to each other, and doing nice things for each other is important.

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Would you let God transform your heart, attitudes, and your mind, and allow God’s will for your marriage? Will you open up your heart in obedience to God’s Word and let Him turn your circumstances into His masterpiece? When we decide to exercise kindness towards our spouse it also creates a good role model for our children’s relationships now and in the future. A kind word, a back rub or even a foot rub after a long day at work. To pick up our spouse’s favorite snack, or take them to their favorite restaurant. To surprise them with a small gift, or hug them out of no where, and tell them how much they are loved goes a long way. It opens communication lines, and creates a joyful atmosphere in the home. Even if we have to keep trying, it will eventually have its reward. Don’t give up!


Prayer confession of faith: I will create an environment of kindness in my marriage. In Jesus Name!

If you would like to learn more about ways to improve yourself in areas of relationships, feelings, and emotions go to Day of Love offer.


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Connie Lonon

Connie Lonon

Connie is a Puerto Rico native that moved to the US in spring of 1994. A decision that was in itself a leap of faith. Connie has been recently called to write her experiences in life through the magnifying glass of God's glory. She is a married mother of six amazing children, and one beautiful step daughter. Connie is a self-employed Child Care Provider that worked hard to earn a Certificate of Mastery in Child Development. With humbled passion Connie will share her life stories and grow into the place that God has called her in to show God's love, mercy, and compassion to a world that desperately needs it.
Connie Lonon

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