How To Trade Impatience For Longsuffering
We all suffer from impatience from time to time. Sometimes we focus on our needs and forget that the people close to us deserve our understanding as much as we like people to understand us. Hence the famous verse, “do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31. As we continue our journey in marriage there will be times in which we will have to yield our pride to allow God to lead us in a life of service towards our spouses and families. There will be times in which it feels unfair, but The Lord will give you a servant’s heart that will help God’s work in a way that the circumstances will in turn align for our benefit. All with faith. This is a lesson which the main learning point is humility and longsuffering. Lay everything on the line for the sake of love.
As a survivor of domestic, and mental abuse my first instinct was to fight back. I went through a divorce that lasted one year and a half to complete. I have been a single mother and know how to work hard to make ends meet. The Lord has always supplied mines and my family’s needs. One day of summer my whole world stopped. My current husband decided to move on without me. After the despair that this brought into my soul I wanted to defend myself.
Little did I know that the plan that God had for me was to fight, but not in the way that a person normally would fight, but in his own way. The Lord immediately told me that I needed to fight with prayer. To not hold bitterness and unforgivenes in my heart, and to keep my heart tender. Through forgiveness, love, compassion, and longsuffering. He knew that was the only way that he could work in my life. It is this way that we do not hinder his work and to become a channel of blessings for others. I prayed, cried and sang to God about the problem that I was facing. I was in Florida and the time had come for me to return home.
I thought that my husband and I could have a face to face conversation and settle our differences but that didn’t happen. Instead, he wanted to discuss everything through text messages. I could have stayed in Florida, but that is not the kind of person that I am. I needed to face my situation. I made the 23 hours trip back, but wasn’t able to see my husband until the next day. Of course, my children inquired about the whereabouts of their father. My heart broke when I saw their disappointment because he did not show up.
As annoying as this whole situation was I stayed, still waiting on what the next step would be. My husband finally faced us, but the meeting was not what I thought it would be. He was quiet, in his eyes I could see pain, and confusion, even guilt. He was crying as our children with some degree of timidity didn’t interact with him the way that he expected. He soon left our meeting saying that he would see us again the next day. Slowly my husband began to come around again. I let him come to the house to see the children and welcomed him in our home without strife or confrontation. There were certain incidents along the way that left me hurt and deeply wounded. One day I decided that since I didn’t see any difference in his decision that I would go on with my life. I kneeled before God in my bedroom floor, took off my wedding ring, and told God I was going to do things “my way”. The reply was a definite “NO, you are NOT”. I had to put my wedding ring back on and asked the Lord to please talk to me and let me know what he wanted me to do.
A few hours passed by and the mother of the little boy that I provided child care for came in and sat with me to tell me her restoration story. Up to that point I had not spoken with her about her marriage even though I knew that her and her husband had a period of separation and were now working on restoration. God has a way of positioning people in your life just for the right time. She explained to me how she had stood for her marriage when her husband left her to have affairs with three different women. How her husband’s actions had affected her life in a negative way, and how the Lord lifted her up through prayer, worship, and listening to preaching until the day that her husband came back home. It could not be a coincidence, The Lord had set up this meeting to give me a message of hope, and to reveal His purpose.
It was clear to me that the Lord wanted to do a great work in my marriage and that I needed to stay submissive and wait on his will for my life. Yes, my emotions and feelings were hurt, my heart was aching, I felt like giving up many times, but I casted all my cares down at the Lord’s feet and the Lord showed me how by not trying to prove myself and through my self-denial He was fighting my battles. That no matter how much it hurt he vindicated me, and didn’t let me be put to shame. He was doing a work while I took up my cross and followed him. My husband came back home as the Lord promised. He restored our relationship. I have a loving, caring husband today, and my children have their father back in their lives without the distress of dual households and all the inconveniences and pain that having divorced parents bring. Our family is complete and intact. All because the Lord helped me to trade impatience for longsuffering.
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