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How To Stay Married Before You Get Married

Screen Shot 2013-06-09 at 12.21.12 PMWhen we got engaged, it wasn’t the blissful proposal by any stretch. We hadn’t talked about what marriage would be like, the deaths we’d face, the moves we’d make, the bills that would pile in from poor health or brain injuries. All we know is that we wanted to get married.  Now that we’ve been together for more than 36 years, married for almost 33, all I can say about those who don’t think of these things is – YIKES!

Having said that, I’m so grateful to feel the excitement of what love is, even after 36 years of being together. We may be old, but we’ve still got the “IT” factor.  But you should know the story behind the story however, because if you’re newly married or engaged to BE married, this information can help you stay married.

My husband and I were from homes where unhealthy relationships ruled. Divorces, separations, yelling, etc. filled the air regularly.  I’m not going to go into all the details, but in American homes today, I know that this is sadly more the norm based on the high arbitrary divorce statistics.

That’s all about to change if you will indulge me for a moment

When young people get married, the last thing they want to believe is that they’ll do what their parents did, especially if there was residual anger left behind. But the truth is that’s exactly what happens unless they defy the odds.

So how DOES one defy the odds?

When you buy a new computer, you want to learn how to succeed with it, so you take classes on its programming from the place you bought it. You’re all excited to start becoming familiar with it until you bring it home, open it up and log in. You upload everything you want on it. You set up your bookmarks, passwords and get everything in place and you’re off to the races!

The only problem is it doesn’t work like you thought it would. You struggle with it through trial and error until you decide to accept it with its own unique issues, or you keep bringing it back to the store to get it fixed, or you trade it in for a new one.

Marriage is a lot like that. We know we need to learn our partners likes and dislikes, their programming, passwords and bookmarks, but for some reason when we see small issues, we want to take them back to the store to get them fixed instead of accepting their uniqueness.

Love Differently

Whether you were impacted by divorce or not, you’re going to grow together or you’ll grow apart. I know which we’ve always wanted, but until a few years ago, didn’t know how to get there. Do you know how many years it took to figure out what LOVE is suppose to look like?

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t for a lack of trying, of growing, of praying, of learning, of studying and researching.  I did everything I could think of to get my husband and me on track and growing more in love than out of love. I continually asked God, “What is it going to take!?”

That is why I wrote the book “Love Differently-Stay Married”, to keep us together using the most powerful secrets to love, that any 11198478_10153174577468971_1021181431_ntwo people could have imagined.  And guess who showed me!? My daughter for one, her boyfriend for another, but the greatest credit goes to Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  Nothing about this book is something I can take full credit for, but whether you believe that or not is of no interest to me. What IS of interest is that you take the time to LEARN, GROW and FALL IN LOVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

LDSM is in bookstores, libraries and any place you can buy a book.

If Love Differently-Stay Married is not in the bookstore you’re likely to shop at, then ask the person in your store to order the book from Ingram Distributors so they can get it in and you can pick it up from their bookstore.  YOU JUST GOTTA ASK FOR IT!!

So I love who we’ve become regardless of how many times we wanted to take the other person back to get them “fixed”. Learning to love differently was worth every painful second it took to get a brand new computer that will last a life time.

We’re flawed. Okay, severely flawed at times, but we love each other like no body’s business.

And isn’t that what we all want?  To stay married for the rest of our lives?  So what are you waiting for! Click on the link right here and go get a new computer…er….I mean marriage. 🙂






Founder at Connecting LLC
After persevering through a traumatic brain injury and death of family members in 2007, Kellie Frazier was blessed with a miracle. As she pressed into God's vision for her life, she went on to publish several books while helping others publish their books. She finds great fulfillment in living a loving CHRIST-ian lifestyle. A devoted wife and mother for more than 34 years, she loves God, and others as she loves herself.

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Love Differently-Stay Married

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